In schools they are faced with many kinds of interactions and build a wide range of relationships with their peers and educators. At home its just as important to keep positivity in relationships and working on building them.
In order for adults to build meaningful positive relationships with children, it is essential to gain a thorough understanding of children’s preferences, interests, background, and culture. For young children, observing what the children do and say when they express themselves give you so much information that normally we just let slide by due to the lack of attention provided. We don't really realize that we can use this information to our benefit when trying to encourage a healthy relationship with them. With this information, adults see to it that their play with children is fun and that the conversations are more relevant to support the child's interests.Whenever possible, this kind of information exchange should be as reciprocal as possible. That is, adults should be sharing their own interests, likes, backgrounds, and origins with children as well.
For many children, developing positive relationships with adults is a difficult task. Adults should consider that they will need to devote extensive effort to relationship building. There is no such thing as laziness in this domain. While there is no magic number that we know of, we have seen teachers who can easily provide several dozen positive, affirming statements to children each day. For children who have mostly heard criticism, it takes a lot of positivity and consistency in positive discipline. Its important that at home parent ask about their child's day, that they are interested and involved, getting down to their level. spending quality time with the child in little ways will mean more to him/her then you can imagine. Little ways such as reading a story before bed, having them tell you a story before bed, watch a movie together, ask them for their help in doing daily tasks because with their help everything gets done better. Simplicity is key. It will encourage the child and help the child feel motivated in doing better and really encourage the parent child relationship to a greater extent. Its a lot of work and to consistently do this may seem overwhelming at times but knowing that as a parent you can provide a strong base for the child future in building relationships in a huge reward in itself.
Now as for educators, building a positive, healthy relation is just as important as what the child is learning at home from their parents. Educators spend a lot of time during the day with the children in their classrooms, often times more than the parents. Just as it is essential to work on building positive relationships at home, it is crucial for them to continue on in school. Educators and the adults at home will begin to see the “ripple effect” of relationship building. As children learn in the context of caring relationships with adults, they will become more skilled at building positive relationships with other children. Finally, providing a child with the opportunity to have a warm and responsive relationship with you means that you have the pleasure of getting to know the child as well. Everything mentioned applies to an educators role as well for maximum results in the child's life and future.
Practical Strategies for Building Positive Relationships
- Distribute interest surveys that parents fill out about their child
- Greet every child at the door by name
- Follow a child’s lead during play
- Have a conversation over snack
- Listen to a child’s ideas and stories and be an appreciative audience
- Send positive notes home
- Provide praise and encouragement
- Share information about yourself and find something in common with the child
- Ask children to bring in family photos and give them an opportunity to share it with you and their peers
- Post children’s work
- Have a “Star” of the week who brings in special things from home and gets to share them during circle time
- Acknowledge a child’s effort
- Give compliments liberally
- Call a child’s parents to say what a great day she or he having in front of the child
- Find out what a child’s favorite book is and read it to the whole class
- Have sharing days
- Make “all about me” books and share them at circle time
- Write all of the special things about a child on a T-shirt and let him or her wear it
- Learn a child’s home language
- Give hugs, high fives, and thumbs up for accomplishing tasks
- Hold a child’s hand
- Call a child after a bad day and say “I’m sorry we had a bad day today – I know tomorrow is going to be better!”
- Tell a child how much he or she was missed when the child misses a day of school
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An article written on www.parentfurther.com explains : "Kids will meet new people, join new groups, change friends, and develop new relationships many times before they truly find the group that they “fit” with. And although you can’t choose your children’s friends, you can have a positive influence on the relationships they make throughout their formative years"
They go on to explain a few steps that will encourage positive relationships with children:
Encourage Diversity-
Challenge your children to get to know kids from many different
backgrounds and perspectives. In addition to exposing your kids to more
diversity, it will also help them learn more about themselves. Avoid Criticism- Avoid criticizing friendships, but be honest with your kids when you’re concerned. Don’t: Condemn your child’s friends. This may make them defensive and less receptive to what you have to say. Do: Be open and willing to listen to what she has to say, and talk about what makes you nervous. Get Involved-
If you feel that one of your child’s friends is having a negative
influence on him, invite that friend to spend time with you and your
child together so that you can have a positive influence on the relationship. Offer Advice-
When talking about a friend who has a negative influence on your child,
focus your comments on that friend’s behaviors, not on her personality.
For example, instead of calling your child’s friend irresponsible for
smoking, you could point out that the behavior has a negative effect on
her health and recommend ways for your child to help her quit. Set Limits-
Set limits on how much time your child spends with her friends—it’s
important to develop positive relationships with family members as well. Engage in Community Service-
Engage your family in service and volunteering (or join a social group)
through a local congregation, school, or other nonprofit
organization—these events can be great places to meet new friends, and
often result in new positive relationships.<<http://www.parentfurther.com/parenting/friends/encouraging-positive-relationships>>
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links for images:
https://www.google.ca/search?q=Educator+and+child+hugging&biw=1024&bih=453&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=buP8VM2kFsibyASShoLACw&ved=0CBwQsAQ#tbm=isch&q=group+hug+children+smiling&imgdii=_&imgrc=w70HYshklVqY4M%253A%3BorYJ0cvCGIB5JM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.learnerslane.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2009%252F10%252Fkids-smiling.png%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fpixshark.com%252Flittle-kids-group-hugging.htm%3B588%3B400
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